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- Blythe Baird
Me, chewing on my Bad Decisions™ Bagel in the corner:
The Universe: What’s that in your mouth?
Me, chewing faster:
The Universe: I said, WHAT THE FUCK IS IN YOUR MOUTH
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Some of the reactions make it clear that there are people who will never be happy unless they know someone else is miserable.
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help, my wife got wine drunk and tried to set our marriage certificate on fire, saying “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”
